making things again (slowly but surely)
Stream of conciousness excerpt from my journal: 15/4/2026
I was on Pinterest yesterday and saw a Tumblr post that said something like:
Today I wanted to read 20 pages of my book and [do something else]. Instead I spent that time scrolling, but I'm not gonna beat myself up over this.
This has been me lately!
It's not necessarily a lack of routine, moreso the effort of taking care of myself & my surroundings is amplified because I feel I have "nothing else better to do".
Not true of course, I've been easing myself back into hobbies, but I can't shake the notion that they're useless.
Fore example: I've been trying to draw lately, and it's been a struggle. I can make something legible on the page, but my hands and head aren't really in it (they don't feel like they're coordinating).
I've been doing bad sketches because they're "safe projects" -- not stuff I'm actually passionate about, because I'm scared I won't do them right or commit to them.
Art isn't a waste of my time, it's vital to my well-being. How do I summon the courage I had as a kid to make ugly shit?
