itdonthavetosting⁀➷

Finally! after a lot of bargaining with myself, I've got back into a zine-making routine.

Ever since I was a kid, I would always eat the crust of the pizza first so I could have the yummy part after. This is how I know I'm #disciplined💪🏾

When I was a kid, my dad brought me to a friend's house up north. It was a nice place, with lots of trees and wildflowers. Before we left, she let me take a book from her library. I chose a book about identifying local wildflowers and plants.

I thought I would outgrow liking nature, but I haven't. It comes and goes with the years (and the seasons, too).

I still have the book. When I get home I'm going to look at what's blooming near me.

Hi, if you're poking around my site and notice there's missing elements, I cancelled by Bear subscription until I get paid!

It was way more relaxed than I thought it would be! It's a small team. Other than setting up (which was a royal pain), it was a really good day.

Last week, I got the job offer I actually wanted, and I went on an office tour yesterday! I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest person working there.

I haven't done the math, but these are pretty cheap to make. I got the bristol board for a dollar, and only a third of it made five covers so far! When I finish standardizing my process, I'll make a tutorial zine & blog post.

feeling: silly

Found out today that I have TWO interviews lined up! I've never had a job in my life, just volunteer experiences (which I loved, but still -- I want money!!)

Days without turning off site blockers: 20

Today I spent 30 minutes doing interpretive dances to ringtones and alarms with my sister.

Days without turning off site blockers: 19

Two more days until it's over. On one hand, it feels like a lifetime ago. On the other, I feel as though I'm just starting to get the hang of things.

Days without turning off site blockers: 19

Today was so sunny warm, I went on a walk with a friend and I was genuinely happy.

Days without turning off site blockers: 18

Only a few more days left until my detox is over! I've learned a lot about myself, so I'll be doing a mini 'report' at the end.

I also spent some time drawing last night, which is helping me feel more 'in' my body. Lately, my hands have been feeling out of it, as though they is too busy using it's limited reserves on typing out assignments.

Days without turning off site blockers: 16

I'm starting to get my appetite for art back, finally!

Days without turning off site blockers: 15

My first class had to do persuasive speeches, and so many people did social media and why it was bad for you.

It was so heartwarming to see people actually recognize how terrible phones & social media can be!

Days without turning off site blockers: 14

Doing okay. Everything just feels 'meh' and I just want to have a long lie down. I want to do things well (like this fucking challenge) but it's as though I'm half asleep in my own body.

Days without turning off site blockers: 13

I can't belive I'm two-thirds of the way through my digital detox.

Also, I can't stop thinking about Jacob Geller's most recent video, The Future is a Blank Room; specifically when he talks about Ray Bradbury's *The Veldt.

“I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?”

Days without turning off site blockers: 12

I finally cleaned up all the collatoral damage produced when I was sick (laundry) and other household stuff I neglected. Even applied for some jobs.

Still learning how to "do nothing" (aka relax). I find myself craving time to do nothing the longer I'm away from screens.

I got more done by pacing myself & chipping away than powering through. This is super obvious but I always forget.

Days without turning off site blockers: 11

I saw a pair of swans today. Almost missed them actually, they blended so well into the snowy field.

Days without turning off site blockers: 9

Finally well enough to get back to logging.

Illness + no phone to self medicate + isolation = disaster.

I realised that I am depressed & burnt out, so I went and got some (free) help.

Days without turning off site blockers: 5

Man (still) down! Nothing of note has happened, I've been letting my mind wander all day so here's a list of my favourite professors:

• PhD student who is either constantly sleep deprived or high
• Hard-ass, extremely cultured Ukrainian lady
• Mischievous guy who can read minds

Days without turning off site blockers: 4

Day 10 already! ... And I'm coming down with something. I don't know how bad it will be, but hopefully not bad enough that I won't be able to log.

I've just been puttering along and listening to this song on loop on my mp3 player.

Days without turning off site blockers: 3

I'm a little under the weather, but I pulled through, and I finished my mitts!

Days without turning off site blockers: 2

Doing a digital detox feels futile if there is nothing occupying my mind.

I had a good day today, the detox part is actually happening. But it still feels like I am waiting for the day to be over so I can hop online.

Having the TV on or using my mp3 player soothes the discomfort enough so I can focus. I'm not one of those people who can sit & meditate, my mind constantly wanders.

Days without turning off site blockers: 1

Took a long, long walk and felt a lot better. Also went to the library to take out three books.

Reading is very calming for me. It also helps me be more comfortable with being bored & letting my mind wander.

Days without turning off site blockers: 0

Slept better last night. First half of the day was riddled with anxiety and brain fog. Wanted to go out on the down, but it was a holiday ergo, no transit.

Journaling helped lift the fog. I realise I use nostalgic media to self medicate when I'm feeling down.

Not sure what to do with that info.

Days without turning off site blockers: 0

I'm in a slump. Today was the first 'official' day of my break and I spent most of it doing some lousy cleaning and crocheting (I finished one of my mitts!).

I'm starting to think this is an issue with ups and downs in sleep & diet.

Days without turning off site blockers: 2

Trying to get used to being bored. It is harder than it sounds! Someone gifted me some navy yarn (my favourite color), so I'm using it to make mitts.

Days without turning off site blockers: 1

Spent some time moping about and doom scrolling at the end of the day, unfortunately. Should have just spaced out on the couch instead.

Went to an art museum and saw this really great exhibit. It was different, very inspiring.

Didn't get to pick up a notebook either, couldn't find what I was looking for at the dollar store.

Days without turning off site blockers: 0

Yes, unfortunately I did turn off my site blocker (for the DUMBEST THING)! Been doing some creative free writing + finished Pluribus!

The freewriting has mostly been word vomit on my notes app. Will try shop around for a physical notebook tomorrow.

Days without turning off site blockers: 1

Slow day today. Moving work spots helped but wow, it was hard.

Didn't feel much of a desire for 'fun tech time', other than listening to music on my MP3 player. Just holding out until reading week for a reset, lol

This week was hectic!(1) Now that I have some downtime I can restart my watch, create a new BlockSite account & a rough draft of a blocking schedule.

I saw this from blogger Eghone. Not sure if it's too late to start, but I'm taking it as a sign to commit to this.

1: A train derailed (my theory is that it's so cold that the heaters keeping the track switch mechanism warm wasn't enough, so they malfunctioned)

Silly life goal: Read so many books that they can make a stack as tall as I am.

I just finished my last pocket notebook ... :( one day, I'll create a tutorial zine including how much it costs.

Blog lore drop: I had a dream where Arthur Morgan put a hand on my shoulder and said, 'you know, it don't have to sting'.