my instincts aren't the enemy
When I was a kid, my dad brought me to a friend's house up north. It was a nice place, with lots of trees and wildflowers. Before we left, she let me take a book from her library. I chose a book about identifying local wildflowers and plants.
I thought I would outgrow liking nature, but I haven't. It comes and goes with the years (and the seasons, too).
I still have the book. When I get home I'm going to look at what's blooming near me.